I walked past two women clad in saree, one of them pretty oldish another, fair and had handfull of bangles and a big bindi, I casually brushed them aside as housewives strolling in Manhattan -maybe visiting museums and spending their time together. It is not so common to find women in saree strolling in Times Square or Madison Avenue, so, I  hastened past them. I was supposed to attend a reading by Shamita Das Gupta founder of Manavi . I had not read her book, I did not recognize her if she had walked past me.

I entered the hall and there were very few people present, I sat  in a chair and waited  for the guest speakers to float in.

suddenly the door opened and I saw these two Bengali women I had seen outside, getting in- their bodies,
I was surprised , the women were very fluently conversing in beautiful Bangali, later I found out that one of them was the authour of
Body evidence...when the director of the host organization hugged her tight.

So, I have decided not to be presumptuous about women in saree or shalwar..you never know!

Having said that, let me focus on the author, she is slightly built, wheatish and
pretty, maybe in her late 50's, she has a sprinkle of gray hair that ends up as a bun at the nape of her neck, her  mauve and beige  chiffon saree with floral motives, was supine on her limbs,  soft spoken, suave, polished, she came across as a gentle human being.
 Shamita is a PHD and teaches law at NYU, how I wished that I could retire like her!.
The room was full of young girls all second generation and bustling with energy, some in mid- thirties, accomplished, well read and not colloquial like me,
here I am sitting with a hand bag not knowing what to talk, how to begin talking.
I could not relate to any of those who were present in the hall because, I am not a working woman, Idon't know the corporate culture, of course it is not a big deal
I could casually ask them  their whereabouts, but then I have often seen that the conversation of that type is not entertained in US, it is classified info, so I sit there waiting to Inhale.
 Someone sat next to me and had no qualms about conversing with other women around, "awesome". "you look great" all the superlatives flowing from their mouth and making the audience happy and beet red!
some one said to me" you look great"!..I was taken aback!..before I could think of a response she had glided down the hall..and I was left muttering "you too", I felt desperate and wanted to pin her down and say," thanks , you look great too!", but then these are formalities ,you are not expected to return them.

Then the reading began, we were enthralled in a soft voice narrating the data of
violence between genders, women , rights and other such parallels to human existence. there were surprisingly new ways of looking at women, as women,
we could empathise with them and talk about survival, their survival, few interesting incidents highlighted the options and nuances of our culture. I didn't realize for so long that there were poor women. middle class women and rich women, for me women were women, who felt and dealt with issues alike, it is heartening to know that sometimes for women bowing to pressure from patriarchy is an act of survial, like in water,  Mirch Masala. The reading of the book Body evidence  also put forth certain questions, the stereotypical presence of victims in the court, obviously Indian courts wanted women to look down and play the victim, but in American courts the women were chastened for not meeting the eyes of the judge and jury.
but in both courts women were asked to act docile!
If our culture could seep so deep in to the psyche of every function of the govt, I dread what is the plight of working women in India?
It seems that one of the American Journalist who came to India poetrayed the Hindu culture as barbaric as Osama Bin laden's principles. Shamita at that point was very defensive and wanted to talk about the nuances of  Hindu culture and what was wrong about poetraying it as bad and cruel.
Hindu culture again isn't what it seems to be, it is not bride burning, dowry and
wearing bindi, again what do we know about our own culture as women? why do women in India follow their husbands as their culture?
It was interesting to note 80% had difficulty in mobility, they had to ask their husbands or mother in laws to get out of the house, it was always about "permitting" the women to go out. This is a ridiculous situation, I have often found my hip, fab and intellectual friends have to take permission from their husbands to meet me. whatever guise the "permission" comes,  it is still slavery, one has to abandon this. Informing  whereabouts is not part of it.So,  it was pretty interesting to know that women couldn't get stuck with the one concept of freedom, freedom against violence, there are many hidden nuances to women's freedom and hopefully the women's lib will look in to it, because violence as an issue  is connected to and is the grand finale of all these issues where women try to control their existence and equality.

Body evidence could make one miss  the conjunction in between, an if, of, by or in
but  I guess, that's  how life looks like for  women when stuck between two worlds.

Shamita has done commendable work as an advocate in civil courts, yet she is gentle like a whiff of air, wisp of cloud, wish it was me there sitting and talking about the future of womanhood...only If I could Fly..and reach those forbidden skies..