I don't know why I started this blog, but looks like the rain, cold and quiet evenings are driving me carzy...
My dog has stopped entertaining me and is resolved in to his own expeditions around the house, some days your laptop stop working, some days your TV and some other days your computer,  and the culprit is on the loose around the house waddling and twisting his  bum and sniffing the corners.

The days nothing is missing in the house he is sleeping or snoring in a corner with his legs- up as if praying to the heaven that he gets boney dreams, he is so happy that he even growles in his sleep.


Now coming back to my desolate thoughts...It just doesn't feel right, nothing seems right, wish everything that makes my world dissolves, and I stand there empty,nothing lasting on the landscape  of my memory, nothing in my hands that feel precious...just an emptiness and silence, I feel like a monk who has no expectations in life, perhaps a monk wants to see god and feel him within, but I feel there lies an obsolute insignificant desire to belong, every thought awakens me to some ulterior motives and I resist the temptations, I so much want to set free the people who live with me, for them I am a liability because I am desireless...

I am dead..I am non existing....

I feel the desolation within, the tsunami of emotions that battered me often have died down they have quietened and would like to hear the voices within..or perhaps they just want to fall in to an abyass of thoughtlessness...
the eerie feeling of  nothingness...

The awareness of this thoughtlessness haunts me, I feel afraid of the silence, depth and understanding..
am I ready yet? 

Am I ?